It is three months since a bone scan showed I have serious bone cancer — the pelvic bones, the right and left femur, the shoulders, the ribs and down the spine. Devastating! The medical oncologist tried me on a new drug to suppress the tumours while keeping up the hormone therapy I’d been having on and off for seven years since my prostatectomy. The latest bone scans show the cancer tumours are still growing and spreading, so now my treatment is confined to pain control using Norspan slow release patches and Abstral tablets dissolved under the tongue as needed every three hours.
I have good days where I feel okay, bad days when I live in misery, and days of hope that lie in between. There appears at present to be a cycle, four bad days, two so-so days and the four good days. I call the bad days the Painstorm Days, the good days the Suncoated Days and the in betweens the Streuth Days. Painstorm Days are full of sudden lightning strikes and crashing thunder and persistent rumblings around my weakened body. Streuth Days may deliver a call of surprise and optimism, or a just a plea for diminished pain and hope. Either way it is at least 50% better than Painstorm. Suncoated Days are a joy in the context of the cycle allowing me to shop and cook, and the chance to write, Letters to Dorothy, my wife in the ARCARE nursing home, or the occasional philosophical Blog posts.,
Meanwhile I keep losing weight and apatite, and try my best to be calm and stoic. Pain is part of life and being a Homo Sapiens with a big brain and a conscience, I am able to make my condition worse or better according to attitude. It is time to stay positive and at the same time plan my funeral.